I don't have it in me

In my ninth month of pregnancy, I decided to push aside the 50 books I had on childbirth that were toppling off my bedside table to make room for one book on babies (Note to self: should have read more books on babies, fewer books on childbirth - childbirth lasts a few hours and is, quite frankly, a gazillion times easier than childrearing but the kid stays forever). As I read about "sleep training," it seemed really reasonable to me. You let the kid cry it out for x number of minutes the first night, a little longer the next night, a little longer after that...until finally he just learned to sleep. Logical. Reasonable. Rational. I could do that. Yes, it might be a bit uncomfortable but I'd just go in another room and watch some TV. Easy, right? Well it's one thing to READ about it and another to do it. I can't. I just can't. I don't have it in me. I don't rush in at the first cry but I can't let him cry for more than a few minutes. I'll definitely let him whine it out. Whining is not crying. Whining says "I'm mildly displeased" or "I'm annoyed." I can let my child feel mild displeasure or annoyance. But I can't make him suffer and there are just certain cries of suffering that one can't ignore. In doing research on cry-it-out, I've read of people letting their children cry it out only to go in and find them wide awake but slumped sadly in their beds with tears dried on their cheeks and a blank look of having had their spirits broken at such a young age. Akin to those orphans in the Ukraine who've never been picked up or loved. One woman said she found her daughter like that and then had to hold her for the next two days to get her back to normal. I don't want Dylan to fall asleep out of sheer exhausted despondency or feeling like "Where are they? Why aren't they coming to get me this time?" But I need sleep, people. What do I do? I've read everything out there! I'm waiting until six months to make a decision. Then maybe he'll be ready. For his parents to "torture" him to sleep. Dammit, it's not fair. Some people's kids just start sleeping at three months and they don't have to go through this "sleep training" crap.