Adjustment

Everyone tells me that if I can just push through this initial period, Dylan will soon adjust to preschool and be begging me to go even on Saturdays and Sundays. As it is now, he whines about going every single morning. He tries to bargain with me ("I don't need to play with kids. I could stay with zia!") and as we walk toward the car he says "No mommy's car. Let's go on foot!" He knows that he goes on foot to his zia's or his nonna's, but if we take the car, we have to go to preschool. As soon as we pull up to the school, the hysterics start. He goes into a panic and has that same "I'm trapped!" look on his face I get when they close the door on the airplane and prepare to push back from the gate. It's very hard for me to keep my calm as he is pried out of my arms and taken away kicking and screaming by the teacher. I can hear him crying and begging for me to take him home all the way down the hall. The teacher told me that after I leave, he's always fine. She told me that yesterday he got really excited because all of the kids were circled around him and asking him to say numbers and colors in English, and he knew the answers. We are going to give it a bit more time and then evaluate. If he's still this miserable in a month or so, we may ask if he can go part time, which is what we wanted to begin with. As it is now, he still has not even gone a full day. Today I left him at 10 a.m. and have to go pick him up at 1 p.m. Everyone said that this period is harder on the parents, and now I understand why!

An ode to sleep

When oh when will we sleep again? Will we ever sleep again? Cristiano and I were talking about it and realized Dylan has never slept more than six consecutive hours. EVER. When I hear people talking about their kids sleeping 12 hours a night, I just can't fathom it. I don't think Dylan has ever stayed in his bed for an entire 12 hours. A couple of Saturdays ago Dylan didn't get his afternoon nap, which meant he passed out at 7:30 p.m. Honestly, I felt as if I had put in a "half day." Like I was getting away with something. I got to eat dinner in peace with my husband, watch some television and drink an actual glass of wine on the couch without wondering if a ball, truck or rambunctious toddler would knock it out of my hand. Of course, Dylan woke up a couple of hours later but just to have a few hours in the evening to myself was the biggest luxury. As it is now, he's waking up every two hours again. He comes into our bed and jumps on me and says "Mommy, cuddle!" We need to do something radical to make him stay in his own bed and in his own room, but it's not going to happen now that he's just started preschool. He's become so clingy and wants me to hold him or stay near him while he's playing. I can't even go to the bathroom. I know this phase will pass, but I'm just beginning to wonder if this kid will ever sleep. He's good to go on five hours of restless, interrupted sleep. Unfortunately, we are not...

Day trip to Genoa

Playing with colors and shadows at the children's museum

We had a great day at the Città dei Bambini children's museum and the beach in Genoa yesterday. It's only 90 minutes away from Milan, but the weather was downright spring-like compared to where we live. That Mediterranean Sea makes all the difference. It was nice to get away from the smog and take in the sea air. More pics here.

We don't even need coats, hats and gloves. Imagine that!

Fun times

Dylan seems to be adjusting well to preschool and is not so aggressive at home. He is now eating lunch there, and yesterday he cleaned his plate (the school lunch menus are very impressive - five-course meals and no chicken strips, sloppy Joes or other junk-food-made-healthy-because-that-is-supposedly-all-kids-will-eat to be found). They eat fish on Fridays. Let's see how that goes as he is no fish fan... I've been giving him lots of "mommy time" and doing as many one-on-one activities as possible. Yesterday I took him to the mall specifically to play on those little token-operated cars, which made him very happy as I'm usually in a rush and have to drag him away from those things. Here are a few shots from the last few days.

Dylan and I made pesto together and then he tasted his handiwork on some orecchiette pasta

Dylan driving the London double-decker bus at the mall

Preschool

First day of preschool

We started preschool. It's been kind of a whirlwind and not what I expected. Dylan actually is very happy to go to school each morning and is sad when it is time to leave. That's the good news. So far, we've only stayed for a few hours each time and today was the first day I left him alone in the classroom while I went outside "to get a coffee." He didn't cry but the teacher said he kept asking when I'd be back. Tomorrow we will stay longer and eat lunch there together, and on Friday he will eat lunch alone (with me outside waiting) with the other kids.

What has taken me by surprise is Dylan's behavior. He's much more aggressive. He's begun to hit us and lash out at us. He calls me "ugly ugly" in Italian and says things like "This pasta is disgusting!" This morning as we were going to preschool he told me I was ugly and so was my car. At school, he's very rough with the other kids and does things I've never seen him do before, such as rip a toy out of another child's hand or shove another child. That is not my sweet little boy. The teacher asked me if the other kids at his play group were older or younger. I told her they were all younger, and she said that may explain it. At preschool, he is the youngest kid in the class. Even though he's tall and the teacher said he has a surprising vocabulary and speaks better than some of the three-year-olds (insert proud mamma emoticon here!), he realizes he's younger and he is being aggressive to show he can run with the big dogs. It's like survival instinct. She said that at home he's probably acting the way he is to punish us.

The teacher said that this period is almost like a "mourning period" for him where he realizes that his mother will not always be around, and all of this is his way of dealing with it. If that doesn't make a mother feel guilty, I don't know what will! I can see that he loves going and that he is going to learn a lot and thrive there, but this whole orientation process is a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

P.S. Mom, empty your mailbox. I've been trying to email you for a few days. You may be getting a Gmail account for your birthday!

Taking a bath

Bath time from Michelle Marie on Vimeo.

Allow me to make up for this morning's rambling laundry rant with this cute video where Dylan actually responds to me in English. The bathtub is pretty much the only place I have a captive subject!

Weekend excitement

My sheets (bottom) basking in the morning sun and snow

Another weekend of toddler birthday parties. We took a lot of pictures of Dylan but none of them came out as he was running around like a maniac. He doesn't stop for a second when there are other kids around and lots of toys to play with.

I haven't had a laundry post in a while so I thought I'd share my weekend strategizing. I've had sheets I've needed to wash now for about two weeks (I mean, we have other sets so it's not like we are sleeping on dirty sheets but still...), but there's no room to hang them in the house. It's been raining, snowing or really cold out so I haven't been able to hang them outside. Word on the street was that Sunday was going to be sunny and perhaps even hit 5 degrees Celsius (41 Fahrenheit). I put the sheets in Saturday night on the automatic timer to get them going early in the morning even though it meant we'd be awoken by the spin cycle as the washer is in the bathroom and directly behind our bed. It was also a risk as if the weather report was wrong, I'd have wet sheets and nowhere to hang them. I've been burnt like this before, and it means I have to take the wet sheets to my mother-in-law's house and ask her if I can hang them in her basement, which I hate doing because then she feels compelled to iron them when they are dry and that makes me feel guilty. In any case, my calculated risk paid off and I was able to get the sheets hanging out at the exact moment the sun was rising over the balcony Sunday morning. They were dry (enough) by 5:30 p.m. when the sun was going down. I have no idea what I will do when I have access to a clothes dryer. Knowing me I will still hang a lot of things on the drying rack and find something else to complain about. Hee hee. Though sheets and towels (or anything that has been vomited on or soiled in any other disgusting way) will be washed and dried immediately.

Say hello to immigrant 210032005

I got the confirmation yesterday. Next stop: Naples for the formalities. Would they doubt the validity of a marriage between two people who have been together 11 years and have a child together? I wouldn't think so. I also can't think of any reason Cristiano wouldn't pass his "medical exam." I'm kind of suspecting it's just an easy way for the consulate's doctor to pocket 180 Euros for the visit and an extra 10 Euros for every extra vaccination they feel he should have.

So now on to Naples.

And the next stop after that?????

My mother-in-law had a breakdown out of the blue the other day and begged me "Please don't go. Please don't go." In tears. Grasping my shoulders. My heart truly breaks, but what can I do? Help.