Week 39: Waiting

Nothing much to report here. Actually, week 39 starts tomorrow - Monday - but I'm impatient. It'd be great if the baby came early since Cristiano is working much less during this extended holiday period. There are about four or five Catholic holidays here between Dec. 24 and Jan. 6. Cristiano officially goes back to work on Jan. 7, which is my due date. If the baby arrives after that time, he will not have as much time to spend with us. Oh well. It's out of our hands. I had planned on overloading the system with raspberry tea, spicy foods and - if need be - castor oil in order to encourage the baby to come out, but I've been sick, so it's actually probably better that I haven't gone into labor. I had a nasty cold that turned into an ear infection, and I still have a bad cough after three weeks.

A midwife came last week to check me out and she told me that everything looks fine. The baby's head as of last week was "fully engaged," so I guess that's a good thing. I am starting to go a bit stir crazy in the house. It's bitterly cold outside, and I have a bad cough and can't do much of anything. I feel enormous and sedentary. I'd give anything to go to the gym or take a long power walk. Yet, all I can do is sit here and wait...It looks like baby will not make it for 2007. Happy New Year!

Week 37: Crampy

Hi, we are still here. I had my last gynecolgist visit on Friday. She said there's nothing more to be checked out so all we do now is sit pretty and wait. If I'm still here in this condition on January 7, daily fetal monitoring begins. And then induction follows soon after that. I hope it doesn't come to that. I would welcome the early arrival of the baby. I'm not good at sitting around and waiting. There's been too much sitting in this pregnancy. I feel like a human incubator/human Baby Bjorn. I need my body back and the baby needs to get here so he can try out his super cool top-of-the-line swing thing that I'm going to buy him for Christmas. It's time for he and I to be two separate entities, much as we love each other.

Not sure if this is TMI, but we are all friends here, so I think I can tell you that I've been feeling really crampy since Saturday. Crampy and with a backache. Something is happening "down there," and the one thing I'm sure of is that it's not my period that is coming! Even though that's how it feels. What does this mean?

Since I am going to have three weeks with no doctor's visit, I've opted to have a midwife come to the house next week for a pre-labor pep talk with Cristiano and I. She's Italian but worked in England for several years, and a friend recommended her as someone who is full of tips and useful information. She said that in England she went around doing house calls like this as there it is common practice for a woman to be treated by a midwife throughout pregnancy as opposed to a doctor. In any case, she will also check the baby's heartbeat, measure him and let me know what position he's in, etc. If the baby is still stubbornly hanging around in there next week, I'm going to go into full-on natural labor inducement mode. Raspberry tea, long walks, hot chili pepper on all my food. Whatever it takes. Well, I'll keep you updated. Keep checking your email...

Week 36: I don't embroider

But my neighbor is pretty handy with a needle. In fact, she gave us a bag cross-stitched with Dylan's name to take to the hospital for his clothing and things. I was supposed to embroider his first and last name in his clothes (they want four pairs of pajamas and four bodysuits) but I put it on with handwritten computer labels. Apparently the nurses keep his clothes and they are the ones who change him, so the whole labeling procedure is to avoid confusion. And there is also a problem with theft in Italian hospitals, so hopefully we will avoid any ugliness of that kind.Above are his computer-labeled clothing items.

They tell you to bring a "small bag" to the hospital but then they make you bring everything from your own toilet paper to towels to maxi-pads, nipple cream, diapers for the baby and much more. I still don't have half of what I need to bring and have no idea how I will fit all of this along with my pajamas and toiletries into a "small bag."

When we come home from the hospital, we will hang this outside our house on the front gate. Usually you just hang a pink or blue ribbon. But the above was also a gift from our cross-stitch happy neighbor. It says "Dylan was born."

Four more weeks. Maybe more. Hopefully less. I currently have some kind of nasty throat infection and a fever so this weekend would not be a good time for his arrival. I have my final visit for the epidural on Dec. 14 so any time after that would be perfect. We are ready to meet our bambino!

Week 34: Post-Thanksgiving update

Last week was very busy. I spent four half days at the hospital just doing testing. Everything with the baby is fine and on target. As of last Tuesday, he weighed about 4 pounds, 10 ounces. He is "head down," in position and apparently ready to go. I began the exams to be "eligible" for the epidural, and the doctor said my blood pressure was fine and my spine looks very epidural-friendly. He also asked me a lot of questions and checked my teeth, though I'm not sure what the dental check-up was all about. I still have to do an EKG and a blood coagulation test in order to be able to ask for an epidural, but apparently they will call me a few weeks before my presumed due date to complete those tests. I was unable to visit the delivery room with my prenatal class as it was too busy in the maternity ward. We were told that the hospital delivers around 2,500 babies per year. Doing the math, that equals about 7 babies per day. Did I mention my hospital has ONLY three delivery rooms? No wonder it's so crowded...The midwives in my course also like to make "funny" little jokes that always end up freaking me out. Seeing as though all of the women in my course are due over the holidays, someone asked if perhaps there might be understaffing issues. One of the midwives said, "Well, we are always understaffed so nothing will change there. But if you are unlucky enough to go into labor on Christmas Eve, Christmas or New Years, we may all be drunk." Very funny.

The baby is really active but quite obedient and polite at the same time. If you give him a soothing little pat and tell him to calm down, he usually does. He goes crazy when Cristiano starts talking to him. It's really weird how his reaction changes whether I have my hand on my stomach or Cristiano does. He gets really playful when his papà tries to interact with him. It's actually really freaky.

Friday night we ended the week with Thanksgiving dinner at an American friend's apartment. I've included some pics. Can you spot the big, brown Butterball turkey? Is it above on the table or below wandering around the room?

Week 33: Big week

This is going to be a hot week for Baby Cugini news. Firstly, we have our final ultrasound, which will give us an idea of the baby's weight and will let us know if he's head down. I have not "seen" the baby since early September, so I'm really curious to see what he's doing in there. He's definitely wedged in there. It's similar to the feeling of having a jawbreaker lodged in your throat. But much bigger! And the baby moves. He's not kicking as much now as he is constantly maneuvering and wriggling into different positions.

I also have the delivery room visit with my prenatal class. That's if there is delivery room available and the ward isn't too crowded. I'm curious to see if there really is major overcrowding and laboring women lining the hallways. I then have a second appointment as part of my epidural evaluation and finally I have a gynecologist visit on Friday. I have something at the hospital pretty much every day except Monday.

As much as I am trying not to slip into the third trimester blues, I'm finding it hard. I had to spend this past week taking it as easy as possible as the dreaded pelvic cramps came back. My doctor put me on light bed rest for two days and an anti-spasmodic medicine. Basically, if I'm on my feet or walk for more than 20 minutes at a time, I start getting crampy down there. Sigh.

In any case, I'll report in on developments as they become available!

Week 32: Pottery party

Buon compleanno papà! It's dad's (that'd be Cristiano's) birthday today. Anyway, this weekend some nice friends (thanks guys!) threw me a luncheon/shower/pottery painting party at the Pottery Cafe here in Milan. Baby showers are unheard of here as it is considered "bad luck" to prepare anything for the baby before his arrival. My mother-in-law (she had her husband put together the crib and the nursery furniture while she was in the hospital having Cristiano because she didn't want to see anything beforehand) - and many others - keeps reminding me of this but I plod ahead in my odd American ways all the same. Here are some pictures.

Having coffee before pottery painting begins


It takes concentration


Hard at work


I'm done so I oversee others' work

Week 31: Dylan's room

After much struggle (FIVE straight weekends of painting, moving furniture, rearranging furniture and more painful home improvement stuff), the baby's room is beginning to look like a real nursery. Yesterday we put together the bassinet, which will in time turn into a real crib.

One view of the room.

Another view of the room.

The beginnings of Dylan's English-language library.

Much needed break

It wasn't a real "babymoon" but we were able to get out of Milan for two days and a night to visit friends in the Medieval town of Ferrara near Bologna. It was really nice. The weather was great. I'm attaching some pics. In the first one I'm sporting my new cheapie makeshift pregnancy coat. It's not a maternity coat but hangs kind of like a pea coat/cape so it does the trick. In the second, I'm wearing my super FAT pregnancy jeans that I hope not to grow into (but probably will - sigh) in the next two months. On the way home, we picked up the baby's crib. Tomorrow after we've put together the crib, I will post some pictures of the nursery. It looks really cute.

In other exciting news, we've decided on a baby name. In fact, I'm starting to prepare my bag for the hospital now and I read on the list that I have to have the baby's first and last name embroidered into each article of his clothing (I also have to bring for myself a bunch of random stuff, such as "cup, teaspoon and napkin" - what for??? Is the hospital that hard up for funds that they can't spring for paper cups, plastic cutlery and a paper towel?). This kind of puts us on the spot. There's no seeing the baby first and deciding "Hey, he looks like a George!" No, once the name is embroidered in there, there's no going back, right? So it is looking like Dylan Francesco Cugini. Or I should say we've definitely decided on Dylan Cugini. The middle name is still up in the air...Enjoy the pics.

Me looking sassy yet pregnant in Ferrara. Day of the Dead, 2007.

Cristiano and I in Ferrara outside the Medieval walls. I'm the one in the REALLY baggy pregnancy jeans. Can't miss me.

Week 29: October update

So I haven't been good about updating, but a lot has been going on. Sadly, Cristiano's uncle died on October 2. As many of you know, he was sick with lung cancer and lived six years despite an original prognosis of six months. We knew his condition was worsening but did not expect him to die as suddenly as he did. We are thinking about giving the baby his name as a middle name, though Cristiano is undecided. It's still very fresh and he doesn't want to associate something so sad with what should be a joyous occasion. It's been a stressful month, but I've been trying to remain as calm as possible.

I went to see my new gynecologist, and I like her well enough, though as she has me coming for appointments every five weeks, there will not be a lot of time to establish much of a relationship. She said my stomach is not too small and mentioned that I need to watch my weight. She doesn't want me going over a weight gain of 24 pounds for the entire pregnancy. Hmm, and I've been invited to two expat Thanksgiving dinners and still have Christmas (which, in Italy, means three days of sitting at a long table and eating from lunch straight through dinner) to get through. Anyway, this doctor will not be present at the baby's birth but at least works in the hospital where I hope - if there are not overcrowding issues - to actually give birth, so she was able to answer some of my more specific questions. My due date is during a major holiday period here when many people are on vacation. I hope there are some obstetricians around and aren't all away on the ski slopes! I'm trying not to allow all of these "unknowns" (Will the hospital I've chosen here turn me away? If I'm sent to another hospital, will that hospital have as liberal an epidural policy as the one I've chosen does? What if the second hospital has overcrowding issues?) affect me, though these are the things that run through my mind when I'm wide awake at 4 a.m. On the positive side, all of this worrying about the logistics of where I will give birth distracts me from fear of childbirth itself!

I am in the process of doing the "epidural course" at the hospital where I hope to give birth. I had two classes in a large lecture hall with an anesthesiologist who ran through the pros and cons of the epidural. Being an anesthesiologist, this doctor was obviously more about the pros, and that put my mind at ease. I thought the class was going to try to "scare" us. It was kind of scary when he got the needle out, but otherwise, it was just very informative. Now in order to be "eligible" for the epidural, I have to do a one-on-one interview with an anesthesiologist, have an EKG, a scoliosis check and a blood coagulation test. I go for my interview on Thanksgiving day. Then after I have the results of all of the tests, I will put them into a folder and take that to the hospital with me when I give birth. Without having completed the class and doing all of the above tests, I will not be eligible for an epidural. As the anesthesiologist said at our class, "I can be on floor one hearing your screams of agony from floor seven but if you haven't done the class and don't have 'the folder,' no dice. No epidural." So I'm jumping through all the hoops. If, for whatever reason, I'm not able to give birth at this hospital and am sent somewhere else, I have no idea if they will recognize that I did all these tests in another hospital. As I've mentioned before, many hospitals just don't offer the epidural at all.

The baby is very active. He's grown a lot in the last few weeks and I can tell that he doesn't have much space to move. Though he finds creative ways to make his own spaces. Sometimes it feels like he's grasping on to my ribs New York City subway passenger style with his right hand and then kicking my bladder with his left leg. I don't feel like I have a delicate fluttering little creature in there somersaulting around anymore but feel like I've had a near full-sized baby stuffed between my rib cage and my intestines. And I've got two more months to go! But no complaints. I feel pretty well physically.

Buon weekend!

Week 28: Yes, I'm posting belly shots

I said I wouldn't do it but I changed my mind. I'm getting really tired of being told how "tiny" I am for seven months. Today in the bakery, a woman said "You look four months pregnant - max!" I guess it wouldn't bother me that much if I hadn't already gained 20 pounds. If it's not in my stomach, where is it???

Here are some (terrible quality) shots that were obviously taken by me. My cheapie camera doesn't have an automatic timer function, and I'm home alone. Yes, I am wearing a big scarf in the house - it's freezing here and we aren't legally allowed to turn on the heat until November 1. Doing my part to save the environment! And, yes, these shots are from the neck down. My hair looks awful today.

Am I really that small?

Front view

Side view

Week 26: Sweet!

So, yesterday I took my doctor's latest orders to the hospital to do a bunch of testing. One of the things I was not looking forward to was the gestational diabetes glucose test. I had heard you could pass out or get sick, and seeing as though I come from a long line of diabetics and hypoglycemics (and feel hypoglycemic half the time though I've never been tested) I was expecting the worst. As we pulled into the hospital, I told Cristiano "Just watch. As always, there will be some 'problem' preventing us from doing these tests." Getting pregnancy care here has been a big bureaucratic nightmare/scavenger hunt that requires me to bounce back and forth from my gynecologist's (who tells me which tests I need to do) to my primary care physician (who is the only one who can write up the referrals and who has no phone and keeps bizarre office hours) to the various hospitals and clinics that offer the tests. Every time I go to do a test in the hospital with the "official doctor's orders," they find some niggling problem or detail that has been left off (such as, the "u" in my last name looks too much like an "i" and therefore doesn't match my health card) and thus refuse to do the test.

Anyway, this time I had resigned myself to having one of these problems and having gotten my butt out of bed before 8 a.m. on a Saturday for no good reason. Sure enough as I got up to the front of the huge line, I was told "It's 8:30 a.m. You should have begun the glucose testing by 8 a.m." I asked why. "Well, signora, you will vomit if you drink glucose after 8 a.m." I explained that neither my doctor nor my gynecologist had explained this "hard-and-fast" rule of glucose testing. I begged the woman to let me in, explaining that I work during the week and did not have four hours to spare on Monday to sit around drinking glucose in their hospital. She went to check with the technician and said "OK, but know better for next time. I really hope you don't vomit." I was shocked that she let me in as there are usually "no exceptions to the rules" when it comes to these kinds of ridiculous things (of course, Italians find lots of excuses for breaking many other laws or disregarding other rules but when it comes to a "u" that looks like an "i" or drinking glucose 30 minutes too late, they become sticklers).

My initial blood sugar level reading (before drinking anything) was 84, which apparently is perfectly healthy and normal. I drank the first dose of glucose, which was pretty gross but sweetness-wise (and I HATE sweet things in the morning especially on an empty stomach), it wasn't as bad as I expected. Cristiano had originally planned on leaving me there with my newspaper and stack of magazines so he could go run to the electronics store down the street and look at nerdy computer stuff. But because the woman had so freaked us out about how I might react to glucose "after 8 a.m.," he decided to stick around. Good guy! I sat there and sat there waiting to vomit and reading my newspaper. It never happened. In fact, I didn't really feel much of anything except the effects of not having had any breakfast. No vomiting. No shakiness. No passing out. I guess you can take the test after 8 a.m. and survive! I get the results this coming Friday.

Week 25: What a luxury!

I was reading through one of my cheesy Italian pregnancy magazines last night, and I came upon an article detailing what the "future" holds in terms of giving birth. They spoke of one day being able to have one's own private delivery room (Imagine that - being able to be in labor in a room without strangers seeing you in all of your agony?) in a "welcoming and homey" setting. They used as an example one hospital in Italy where they have supposedly done just that. I've scanned in the photos to illustrate what "luxury" means in an Italian hospital - there's a "pink delivery room," a "blue delivery room" and "yellow delivery room." One even has an adjustable bed so you can actually change positions. Wow! There is no decoration on the walls, however, save for a picture of the Virgin Mary. Unfortunately, my hospital is not so ahead of the curve and I will not have luxuries, such as colorfully painted walls and privacy. Though I am told that my hospital is one of the only 7 percent in Italy that guarantee epidurals 24 hours a day seven days a week. At least that's something!

Here are some photos of luxury childbirth Italian-style (keep in mind they are scans from a magazine so the quality is not the best) - they 'aint suites but they've got colorful walls...

Week 24: Staying positive

I have not updated lately because not a lot has been going on new on the baby front (well, aside from baby consuming our whole lives, of course). He is kicking and he swishes around a lot. In fact, he kicked for the very first time in New York in the JFK airport as I was about to board my plane to return to Italy. Well, I'm sure it wasn't his first kick but it was the first kick I actually felt. Cristiano's interpretation - he already hates and dreads flying. My interpretation - he didn't want to leave the U.S.!

I have not exactly been in the most positive frame of mind, which is another reason I haven't written a lot. Being pregnant in a foreign country is quite difficult. More difficult than I had imagined. I really don't want to get into it because I'm trying to focus on the positive, but it's been challenging.

Above is a very non-exciting picture of my first load of baby laundry! I am washing everything now because Baby Cugini will be born in January and since we don't have a clothes dryer (actually nobody really does in Italy), I want things washed and dried while it's still warm enough outside to get them dried quickly. In the winter, you have to hang things in the house and it can take several days for things to dry and they can take on a musty smell. It felt bizarre to do laundry for someone who isn't technically here yet. But then he already has two whole drawers in the dresser so I guess he's already begun to make his impact in the house.

Update: below is the second load of baby laundry. The first load was easy because it was mainly all towels. This load took me about 30 minutes to hang because of all of the tiny things (like socks and little hats) that can't be hung without a clothes pin. I've survived without a clothes dryer for seven years. I fear life with a baby and without a clothes dryer is not going to be easy. At least the sun came out. Dry little socks, dry! I hope baby clothes don't get too wrinkly because I really don't see me ironing receiving blankets and tiny caps.

21-week ultrasound

I am back in Italy. I had a great time in the U.S. though the trip took a lot out of me. I probably spent way too much time sitting crunched up at a 90-degree angle on long plane and car trips, and I basically got no sleep. This past week I had to return to the emergency room here (yes my third time in August...sigh) for yet another nasty UTI. This was my worst experience yet and, quite frankly, I don't want to get into it too much because it makes me upset and frightened to give birth here. I was in a lot of pain, and the pain so near my uterus sent me into contractions and it was horrible because they couldn't give me very much to ease my suffering. I was in a crowded ER with lots of other sick people and was "parked" for hours without seeing a doctor or a nurse or being given anything to eat or drink. I was in so much pain that I was crying and generally making too much noise, apparently, because a mean nurse told me to "Be quiet. You aren't the only one here." At one point, the ambulance drivers came to kick patients off their gurneys because there weren't enough gurneys for the ambulances to go out on their runs. Again, nightmare experience that I never, ever want to repeat and really don't want to talk too much about it because I'd like to forget it ever happened. I can only hope the maternity ward is more organized than the emergency room.

In any case, the baby seems to be doing fine despite all of my UTI traumas. Today we had the 21-week ultrasound and he's growing well and is within all of the normal parameters. Below are some profile pics. I know in the U.S. everyone is doing the 3D ultrasounds but, again, here I am in a country with a gurney shortage so as you can imagine, 3D ultrasounds are not yet offered. I offer a few shots of the baby in action. Cristiano insists he has my "Midwestern potato nose" but I really think it's too early to tell!

Week 19: The shower

Baby Cugini has landed on U.S. soil. Here are scenes from the shower:

Getting ready for game playing

The infamous toilet paper game. So far, Baby Cugini weighs in at nine squares.

The cake. Yes, I am wearing a clothes pin.

Week 17: Overdoing it (?)

I guess I have to start listening to my Italian gynecologist. She has been none too happy with my going to the gym but I truly felt I was "taking it easy" in the gym and doing only the things recommended in my stack of pregnancy books. Until Sunday. I guess I fell prey to the "if 30 minutes of walking is good for you, 60 minutes must be even better..." mentality because I just kept walking and walking on the treadmill. I felt energetic and fine and my iPod was cranking out the tunes. And plus the doctor had barred me from doing the bike so the treadmill was my only option for a bit of cardio. After I got off the treadmill, I began having shooting pains in my pelvic region. That freaked me out but I hoped they would pass if I just rested some. As the day went on the shooting pains got neither better nor worse. They came about once or twice an hour and were not all that painful but it was freaky nonetheless.

I did not sleep at all Sunday night. I was convinced I'd done something horrible to the baby and I was in a state of panic. Cristiano was not happy with me because, well, Cristiano gets worried if I walk to the corner lately in my pregnant state. Strangely, he does not seem to have a problem with my doing laundry. Hmm... Anyway, he eats up everything the doctor tells us and was giving me the "I told you so" face so I couldn't very well ask him to take me to the emergency room (I mean, I could have but I didn't want to see crossed arms and that face sitting next to me in the ER). Cristiano's mom and dad were just finishing packing for their trip to Cape Verde but they accompanied me to the hospital while Cristiano went to work. Fortunately I was not visited in the ER but sent up to the maternity ward. It was complete chaos but the doctors were very nice. I got my first taste of "sharing a room" as I was examined in a room right in the delivery ward with a woman in labor who was hooked up to all of the monitoring machines. Honestly, in that moment I couldn't have cared less. I just wanted to know what was wrong with me and know the baby was fine (he is!).

The very nice lady gynecologist told me that she thought I had overdone it at the gym on Sunday and had gone into contractions. She told me I could walk but NOT on a treadmill ("gym machines were not built for pregnant ladies," she said) but she'd prefer me to do yoga or swim. She also suspected I had a urinary tract infection, which was adding to the pains. She ordered me to go home and sit on the couch (I'm here now!) and gave me some medicine for the UTI. It was a very big scare but I hope to get better quickly and obviously be able to get on my flight next Wednesday. She didn't foresee any problems with my traveling. I just need a follow-up visit in ten days though I will be in the U.S. with, uh, no doctor and no insurance aside from emergency insurance. I guess I'll be hitting a Planned Parenthood.

I'm halfway done with the new Harry Potter. I've seen about five movies. I'm attempting to work a bit from my couch/office. And I'm resting a lot.

Week 16: Yep, it's a boy

We had the 16-week visit today. The doctor confirmed what we were told in week 12 during the NT scan - it's a boy. We have the genital shots and everything! All is well. She is not happy with my weight gain (I've only gained two pounds so far...) and thinks I need to eat more. I tried to explain that my stomach problems have really hindered me and that I still suffer from pretty serious heartburn that prevents me from sitting down to a real meal. I have to pick a bit at a time (it's really annoying actually because eating all day has become like a second job) or otherwise I get sick and am up all night with horrible heartburn. Personally I feel I am being strategic in what I am eating and am getting enough. She gave me a medicine that should coat my stomach but she wants to see me put on more weight. I'm sure that as the pregnancy progresses, I will have no problem, though I made the mistake of pointing out that I work out about three times a week doing pregnancy-approved things, such as walking on a treadmill. I think she thinks I'm some fitness-obsessed vegan freak who doesn't want to gain weight but that's really not the case. All it takes is one big bowl of pasta for me to be doubled over in pain on the floor with Mount Vesuvius exploding in my stomach. I can have the big bowl of pasta (and some fruit, legumes and all of the other good things I'm trying to take in) but I have to eat it slowly in different sittings. Well there's the whole overview of my digestive ailments. Moving on...

I expressed my concerns about the hospitals. What she said in a somewhat diplomatic way was, "Get over it. You aren't going to a spa - you are giving birth and what's important is that technically speaking the hospitals and doctors are good." She admitted that the hospitals here lack the "human aspect" but she told me to "try not to romanticize it or you will be disappointed." Then she slammed the U.S. healthcare system and said that it was a nice system for some but offered no guarantees to others. Uh, OK. I asked about epidurals. There again, she was pretty blunt. She said that the hospitals here are "badly organized for the epidural" and there is typically only one anesthesiologist to serve a whole department (or did she mean the whole hospital?). Nine times out of ten that person is busy in the operating room or in the emergency room and can't be dragged away to give some screaming woman an epidural. She said I have to be prepared for the fact that I will most likely NOT get an epidural because there will be nobody available to administer it. Her take on it is "Anyway, the epidural saves you a couple of hours of pain max just from the time you are dilated at 5 centimeters. The body expects pain in labor and is set up to take pain, so just try to deal. Maybe do yoga or learn hypnosis beforehand..."

So there we are. The baby seems healthy and for that, we are ecstatic. Hospital and labor concerns can wait, I guess.

Pain

OK, it's over 100 degrees here so the baby is either too tired to kick and bop around or it's still too early for me to feel any movements. According to the books, this week could be the week where I get those first "butterfly flutterings." So far, nothing. I don't go back to the doctor until July 24, so I have no baby updates and must continue to focus on myself as giver of life to Baby Cugini.

I have never been hospitalized here (thank God!) so though I've been here seven years, I've really been kept in the dark about what that's really like. Thus every new tidbit I find out about being hospitalized in Italy shocks and confuses me. When talking to other women who have given birth here, there's inevitably the story of the "moaning roommate," the woman who having had a C-section moans and whimpers day and night while her family members sit at the foot of the bed holding rosaries and doing the sign of the cross. When I've asked Italians "Don't they offer pain medications here?" I've been told smugly "Oh, you Americans with your 24-hour drugstores and over-the-counter medications, you are too reliant on pain medications, always so quick to self medicate." Yes, this is the country, after all, where to buy a bottle of aspirin, it requires a pharmacist in a white lab coat to sell it to me and costs five times what I'd pay in the U.S.

The other American and foreign women who have given birth here tell a more sinister tale. One American friend who had a C-section in the U.S. and a C-section here says Italian nurses are "stingy" with pain meds. She said that in the U.S. she was given pain meds right away after her surgery whereas here she had to cry and beg for hours - and by the time she got it, it took forever to kick in and she suffered for hours needlessly. For days after, she had to beg and beg for more medication. When I've asked why they don't dole out the pain medication here, I've been told everything from "It's not Catholic" (well, neither am I so get my narcotics ready!) to "The hospitals are broke and they ration the little medication they have."

The second answer makes more sense. These are public hospitals where I will give birth for free. I guess the attitude is "beggars can't be choosers." Much like homeless people who line up for free rations at a soup kitchen can't ask for "some grated parmesan on that" or "a side of those delightful little gourmet croutons," as a free "customer" of the hospitals here, I can't expect many extras either. Well, here's where that analogy runs off the rails: I pay FIFTY PERCENT of my salary in taxes so I can have these fantastic public services, such as health care. I'm actually not a beggar and the nurses technically work for me. Too bad they don't see it that way...

Week 15: Hospital visit

So we went to visit a hospital this past Saturday. Actually, the hospital that I had mentioned in a previous post that has a pretty progressive "rooming in" policy for Italy. Typically in Italy the baby is taken away from you right away and put in an incubator. You may go 12 hours without seeing your baby. This hospital, on the other hand, puts a strong emphasis on mother-child bonding and gives you the child right away. The mother and the father (the other good thing is that visitation is open to fathers from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. while in other hospitals, some fathers are only allowed in for a few hours a day) are then responsible for taking care of the baby - bathing, feeding, etc. If you get tired or don't feel up to caring for the baby, you can leave him in the nursery. So, I like the philosophy. It's very free-to-be-you-and-me but in the safety of a hospital setting. These are the advantages.

On the downside, I'm not sure they will give me an epidural. Epidurals are a fairly new development in Italy (I'm told they are not offered at all in the more religious south) though they are definitely not offered freely or encouraged. The hospital I visited has a low C-section rate and puts an emphasis on a natural birth. That's great but I want an epidural. I'm willing to take the course meant to scare me out of it, be checked out physically and sign all of the waivers. The thing is that there is no guarantee that when your time comes, they will give you the epidural even if you've done all that. This frightens and angers me but I don't think there's much I can do as no hospital in Italy is all that epidural friendly. The other thing is (and I know this is superficial but...) aesthetically, I was not wow-ed by the hospital. Compared to others I've seen, it's not that bad. No peeling paint, anyway. I had been told it was "new." OK, well my idea of what is new and an Italian's idea of what is new are two different things. New to an Italian could mean 30 years old and, in fact, this hospital could be just that. The maternity ward is quite institutional - concrete walls, ugly tile floors, a faded paint job. Put in some lockers and install some metal detectors and it could be an inner city high school.

At least there are only two women to a room and there is a bathroom in each room. And each room has a big glass window that looks into where the babies are kept when they are being tended to by the nurses. That's a nice touch. I guess I just have my heart set on the birthing suite in a nice American hospital and I know I can't have it, so in comparison, everything pales. I'm trying to stay positive because I really have no choice but to give birth here as I have no American insurance (speaking of which, in Michael Moore's new film Sicko, he classifies Italy as number 2 in the world for health care - not sure how they did their rankings but the only good thing about this system is that it is open to everyone). Apparently this hospital has a neonatal unit but compared to American hospitals, I saw very little equipment. Even the nursery seemed bare bones as were the examining rooms, which were empty except for a desk, a chair for the doctor, a chair for the patient and a cross on the wall. Again, brought to mind a school nurse's office. Where is the equipment?

The hospital is fine and that's probably where I will give birth, but I'm just not all that enthusiastic about it. Cristiano keeps reminding me that "It's free. What do you expect for that price?" It is true that while I do have to bring my own toilet paper, maxi pads, bedding and baby essentials to the hospital, I will not pay a dime to give birth here. Thus this is why the hospitals don't go out of their way to look nice. It's not a "business" and they don't need to attract "customers."

Week 14: Making progress

Notice how the "widget baby" on the right gets bigger as the due date comes closer? It's kind of freaky, right? Especially because that's what is actually happening! Anyone who has talked to me lately (basically anyone within a 10,000-mile radius of me) knows what a hard time I've had finding a hospital I like here. I like the idea of public health care in theory. Actually, I like the idea of public health care and think it works in a lot of countries. But it doesn't work here very well and the hospitals are the best representation of that. They are, uh, butt ugly to say the least. Think Soviet-era with paint crumbling off the walls. And you are packed in like sardines. No birthing suites, no private rooms. Often there is no bathroom in your room (a room full of from three to six women) and you have to pad down the hall in all your glory with your little toiletry kit when you want to go to the bathroom. Did I mention you typically are in labor in a room with a bunch of other women, some of whom have already given birth and are being visited by their families? Their families who may be celebrating and eating lasagna and cake while you are in agonizing labor? So the doctor comes in to check how dilated you are and there's a party going in the bed next to you where everyone gets a full-frontal view of your labor progress. This is if you are lucky to get a bed. If there are no beds, you agonize in the corridor. On a gurney if they haven't run out (happened to Cristiano's mom in the hospital - she recently waited ten hours for carpal tunnel surgery while alternately standing or sitting on a chair outside the OR. She then had to "hop up" on the operating table as if it were a simple visit to her local dentist). If they are out of gurneys, you are in labor in a wheel chair. Yep, it happened to my upstairs neighbor. She then "slept" in the corridor for the first night. Another friend also was forced to "sleep" in the corridor and had her purse and all her belongings stolen...

Don't even get me started on how hard it is to get an epidural here. They've convinced Italian women that epidurals are very, very dangerous and so Italian women are frightened of them. Or they tell you that (we are in a Catholic country here, after all) your suffering now will reap you rewards in heaven. I'm sorry but that's barbaric and a bunch of patriarchal crap dreamt up by male church officials and male politicians who want to keep costs down in the hospitals so they can pocket the money for more time on the Italian riviera with their silicone-enhanced (obviously in Switzerland, not here) 22-year-old girlfriends. We pay 50 percent of our salaries in taxes and women have to give birth in depressing corridors here and bring their own sheets, maxi pads, pee cups and Band-Aids to the hospital with them? That doesn't sit right with me. Look for my Michael-Moore style exposé on this. I'm seriously considering writing a book and am taking copious notes on this whole experience.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a warm and fuzzy blog about the baby. Where was I? Oh, I think I actually found a hospital I like. It's brand new and is between our house, Monza and the villa where we had our wedding reception (for those of you who came to the wedding). I can't get a private room but there are only two women to a room and the baby is kept in a room on the other side of a glass partition so the mother can decide to do "rooming in" or if she's tired, leave the baby in the "glass room" for a nurse to attend to. The hospital has a low C-section rate (Italy's rate is 38% - the highest in Europe) and advocates a natural delivery though they will give you an epidural - after you've taken the class where they try to scare you out of it. Anyone who knows how, um, adamant I can be even when I'm not in labor can only imagine how I will get when my water has broken and I'm writhing in pain. Some hospitals promise an epidural and then when you ask for it, they make up some reason why you can't have it. Make no mistake about it: I...WILL...GET...MY...EPIDURAL. It just figures that I'd have to go almost to Switzerland to get some decent health care around here.

Sorry that that was a little on the controversial side but, you know me. I can't hold my tongue. I'll be in the U.S. in less than a month. Can't wait to see you all!

Week 13: Welcome/Benvenuti

Welcome to what will be the place for all information on Baby Cugini.

Baby Cugini is not a very inspired name, you say...
Yes, we know. Bimbo Cugini ("bimbo" - pronounced "beeeeembo" is the word for "baby" in Italian) did not sound that much better. As soon as we have confirmed the baby's sex and come up with a name, Cristiano is going to set up a domain for him so that he has his very own domain at birth. Newborns love having their own domains!

And why Cugini, you ask?
As the baby will be born in Italy, there will be no choice as to what last name he takes. No mother's maiden name. No hyphens. No being called just by his first name. No Prince-style symbol or Baby-Formerly-Known-As. When push comes to shove (and all pushing and shoving will be done by the MOTHER, need we add, without a birthing suite and perhaps even without an epidural, which is not widely available in Italy...), he has to take the father's last name. Yes, we could go to the trouble of legally changing his name in the U.S. and then coming back with the new name but in a country full of this much red tape and bureacracy, do we really want to complicate the kid's life by giving him a hyphenated or "foreign" name? ("Sorry, we'd accept your child at our preschool but his application can't be processed because he has a hyphenated name.") So, let's just stick with Cugini and give the kid a break.

Why are you referring to Baby Cugini as a "he"?
At this point Baby Cugini is being referred to as a "he" because at the in-depth 12-week scan, the doctor told us he was "95 percent a boy" - or "a girl with genitals that are too far forward." Until we are told otherwise, we are referring to Baby Cugini in the masculine. We've been told that 12-week scans can be wrong so we are not getting the sky blue paint out yet for the nursery...

Are you having a shower? Are you registering?
Both my cousin Gina and my mother have graciously offered to host a shower for me when I will be in Dayton over the weekend of August 11. Mom won out on doing the hosting because as they say in Italian "La mamma è sempre la mamma" ("Mother is always mother"). I will be providing details as they become available. I was on the fence about doing a registry because I always fear it makes people feel "obligated" to buy something. But if I learned anything during wedding planning, it's that people get annoyed (dare I say belligerent?) when there is no registry. People actually like giving gifts even when told it's not necessary. Who knew?

I know nothing about babies so actually it will probably help me out to do a registry and cover the basics. Or even just hear from other mothers about what I will need (I was recently told I absolutely have to have a Boppy and that this Boppy product is not available in Italy). So, yes, there will be a registry but I can already tell that this child will be inundated with love and things (did I mention he'll have his own domain name at birth?) so I will also be providing a link to a cause that is near and dear to our hearts, which is giving aid to the children of Darfur. Baby Cugini can live without a Boppy. The children of Darfur can't live without food and water. If you feel so inclined, please help these children. Again, all links to come later.

Will you be providing belly shots?
No. Never. Absolutely not. Sorry to disappoint but that's just not my thing. I'm already at the point where when I see a camera, I run. I know other people do it and they insist I will regret it later, but I can't bring myself to. I will however try to put up some shots of the ultrasound scans and perhaps even the video that we have of Baby Cugini doing his thing in the mother's womb. He's already got a lot of personality. Really!